The Origins of the Mayan Calendar Myth

It turns out that, in addition to the Wayans’ prediction of a disaster in 2012, there may actually be a Mayan connection to the prophecy after all. The following story comes from the Mayan mythology; I’ve rendered a colloquial translation here.

Our story takes place in the year 606 AD [by modern reckoning] in the jungles of the Yucatan, in the village of Yaxmuul, part of an empire headed by the Mayan city-state of Palenque.

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Wayans' Calender Predicts Disaster in 2012

[From the Vesperfire News Wire:] Keenen Ivory Wayans, well known in entertainment circles as creator of the sketch comedy series In Living Color and director of the horror movie parody Scary Movie, was surprised to find the entry “End of the World” marked in his iPhone’s calendar application on December 22, 2012.

“I figured it was some sort of joke by one of my brothers, but when I called them, we discovered it was marked in the whole family’s calendars, all ten of us!” Keenen Ivory Wayans told us, referring to himself and his nine siblings. “We deleted it, and it would just reappear. It was even on our sister Kim’s brand new Blackberry the first time she turned it on!”

Alarmed by this, Keenan decided he should warn people. “I made a post on my Facebook page, but unfortunately I forgot I had one of those ‘random upside-down letters’ applets turned on,” he said, sighing, “so I told everyone that the Mayans’ calendar predicted the end of the world in 2012. Fans had spread it all over before I realized the mistake.” The actor/director told us that he wasn’t too concerened about the mis-attribution, saying that he was just glad that the vauge, unhelpful warning got out.

Keenan stated that the family had no additional information on the nature of our impending doom. However, a friend of the family privately contradicted this, telling us via e-mail that they appear to be preparing to survive a “smarm of giant weteors”.