Another Guide to Facebook's Newest Home Page

The designers at Facebook clearly skipped the section on interface stability in their User Interface Design textbook. This last interface change has been a mess, accompanied by all sorts of glitches. They’ve provided A Guide to Facebook’s Home Page, but I thought I could make a more accurate one for my readers. The low resolution picture below provides another link to the full size version.

Song Parody: Feelin' Guilty

A song parody of Simon and Garfunkel’s “59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin’ Groovy)”. The original contains only two verses, but I’ve added a third using the same rhythm as the second.

Feelin’ Guilty

“Slow down, you drive too fast.
You should have let that truck go past. Don’t
Go straight through a light like that.”
Driving with Mom and feelin’ guilty.
Always with Mom I end up feelin’ guilty.

I’ve got the classic Jewish mother
She said “Why can’t you be like your brother?
Don’t you have some time for me?”
Talking with Mom and feelin’ guilty.
Always with Mom I end up feelin’ guilty.

He said “Your life seems outta kilter,
Why don’t you ever call your sister?
Your job’s a waste of your degree.”
Talking with Dad and feelin’ guilty.
Always with Dad I end up feelin’ guilty.

Got no hope for praise, no choice they’ll accept.
I brought a date home but my mother just wept.
In the morning they’ll drop all their troubles on me.
That’s why I feel always guilty.

(Harmonizing – with undercurrents of nagging, with airy flute solo, then fades)
For a two verse version (to match the original song structure), eliminate the second verse and use these alternate lyrics for the beginning of the third verse:

“Hello hon, have you seen your brother?
Why don’t you ever call your mother?
I called an early version of this the “Jumping off a Bridge Song”, but it was much darker than I intended. I much prefer this expression of exasperation to one of suicidal intent.